Utopia

We don't stop what we enjoy, until we enjoy something else more.

Fledgling

Becoming better takes time

Takes getting out of line

There is another direction I find

I can't front that I have been behind

I haven't forgotten my past

But I need to get pass my past

We started early, time moved fast

I know there are things I can improve

I accepting the old me, while I'm renewed

The Passion of Life

Write as if it was simplistic
Living life like it's all terrific
Motivation is premade in the spirit
Talk to me and you can hear it
Young man too focus to lose it
Walking in the footsteps clueless
Who knew this would happen
She found something in my lacking
Opposite lust still are attracting
I'm laughing cause I'm stacking
She thinking I'm her Bin Laden
Easy to pursue til she enters
The experience of my center
We're different but similar
And I'm still into her
Can't fend off my competitor
Guess this confidence means little
Playing with my emotion like a fiddler
Complex love was so much simpler
Scenes of my life are just hints to her
Warming up from that sudden temper
She came from a time when he hit her
I rather live in her, the center, a winner
I'm not scared to say I fear relationships
But you make me understand I mistaken
Waiting around for the sign to enter

Return of the Life

So after months of being a recluse
Someone let me out, now I'm lose
This is war, we can't make a truce
We speeding to the end, no cruise
Who knew that I would be back to
What I use to love to do
Who I use to love to do
Who knew how I keep meeting you
The sun raise and the darkness flew
We are here in a duel of the hearts
I write my art as a part of the start
This sour taste you left before, now is tart
That was the interlude to the best part
Now I'm back from the coldest winter
When others exits that was when I entered

Y R U Back

If you wonder where I have been...here's a little reflective thought

Too far to come back home
Too lost to know I was gone
Too broke to get some help
Too much pain from the whelps
Too many emotions to feel
Too real to understand the deal
Too hard to cry about it
Too honest to lie about it
Too many times I'm done
Too many nights I'm the only one
Too much my past hasn't passed
Too many times, this was my last
Too many dollars and no class
Too many times I act unabashed
Guess is why I returned back
Guess this is the audience I attract.

Mis(s)ing U

I wish I could send this letter to her
But I was suppose to move on from her
That was my mind in the old world
But I can't seem to let go of what unfurrel
She loved me when I was still finding
Caught me when I fell from climbing
Then when it was perfect timing
I left in one breath
Told her there was no one else
When in reality, I lost myself
Too busy looking for a warm place
To escape from a recluse mind state
How could I erase the memories
No more late calls after the drinking
Now it's long days of just thinking
But i can't change my past
But I can't just keep going and crash
Crashing into her in the streets
Not knowing how to speak
Not going to the peak
Because it's scary on top
It's hard to change when you have to stop
I can't keep going with her knowing
So in one poem, I share our moment

Winner's Winter

Since the last post what has trans past.
Couldn't mask that my young ass grew up
Dreams of my false reality just blew up
Now my lady has been found out
My son now knows what I'm about
The open hands and close mouth
Left me wondering about
When I said I was gonna change
Was I just saying all the same
More like I was ashamed
Too busy validating my actions
More like the lack there of
I can't act if I didn't do it
The misfits and laundry list of regrets
Makes me miss when I thought this was it
Full stomach, empty heart, I'm so sick
I can't call to apologize for the lies
However, I could have applied the whys
There are hints that this was gonna happen
I was starring in the show that I was acting
No supporters, No viewers, Talent lacking
Value can't come from just being attractive
But without action or passion, I'm just...

aMAYzeS

I wrote you a love letter in the sands of time

With each grain making up each line

With the rain from the sky helping me to create the rhyme

My hands caressed sacred parts of the earth, again

We experienced numerous adventures with different indentured relationships

Finding ourselves reminiscing the mediocre shit

That we sometimes don’t want to admit we did

I’ve learned that life is worth nothing

If I can have something

That keeps my heart thumping and bump bump bumping

I’m attempting to taste one thing

God’s closest creation to perfection

And those perfect thighs keep my eyes chastised

I’m so erect that my shadow duplicates the Obelisk

Princess, I could smell and taste simotaneosly from your neck.

Drowning myself to death with your sweat

In that moment I catch myself moaning

As if I didn’t just have you this morning.

Your breath I’m inhaling

Your body continually ejaculating

My inhibitions I’m exhaling

All because I want to be the cure for all your aliments.

I just want to ride the tidal waves of those hips

Feel your heart beat through those lips

Experience everything beautiful and fruitful

From your toe nail polish to those cuticles

I’ve imagined 300 different positions and if you have one second to listen

We could talk about it,

Right after all this kissing

Please love, how I got you thinking different dialects

The things that get you in touch with your heritage.

Is it the perfect positions?

The ways I listen?

Or the way your body almost goes into submission?

Because it all started with just one poem

And it started like this…

Excuse me miss

What’s your name?

Can you come with me?

Possibly

Can I take you out tonight?

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Now playing: Jay Electronica - The Ghost of Christopher Wallace feat. Diddy

Recycling

The plan to transplant these thoughts to words is absurd

How you transfer 30 years to 16 bars, 3 verses, and the word

This is my time to transform the world I see by being just me

I don’t think that this Sweetie could be my Sweet Tea simply

Because she has a pearl white teeth, nice smile and cute feet

In the end that means nothing to me and the things I achieve

She might forget about me when I’m in a dire need for reprieve

Can’t figure that these pains can change, rearrange all these stains

When I see success I know that I must refrain from being drained

My time is coming and I’m constantly learning that bridge burning

Is ok, if they aren’t on the same side of tracks where you’re learning

In the land of the brave that can’t stand all the flames

I know I should refrain from telling the truth about this reality

They think they own me since they put me on this salary

No dollar amount can amount this freedom that mounts

I been to the water and all I found was more thirsty people

Looking for someone else to tell them that they’re equal

The American mind state breeds more of the feeble

I am an entrepreneur who lived in an emotional repo

Spent two night in this Regal staring at the steeple

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Now playing: Drake - 9AM in Dallas Freestyle

Surviving

When I left I thought thinks would change
I knew that if my thoughts were rearranged
Then I could achieve the dreams I frame
Instead I'm still falling part while I maintain
Is it the relationship that I CANT leave
Is it the fact that this is still not my true belief
Made decisions and now I have to live with them
Disconnected from the world, connect with children
Maybe it's because we both never want to listen
My autobiography is the motivation for fiction
Thought if I conquer more women then I was a man
Instead I'm still a slave to every memory I hold of them
I wish that I could change all this I have done
But when you subtract one from one; you have none
So I go on. Proud of everything I have become
The professor of all the actions I have done.

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Now playing: Miike Snow - Silvia

Burial

The tears stopped flowing down my face
I knew I was finally in the right place
I was no longer my own basket case
Pulled over to pull out this rat race
In these modern times, know you affect lives
To reach the top you must continue to climb
I was a image of my reality regardless if it hurt
Appreciated my purpose and self worth
Tired of being both the gift and curse
Found me a woman that I am faithful to
Found a reason to stop being so wasteful
I'm in shape to achieve something greater
In time I will find what, sooner than later
Everything that great; is built over time
When its my time, I hope that I'm just fine

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Now playing: Miike Snow - Silvia

BiPolar Love

I hope you don't misunderstand how I feel
In a world of fake people, my words are real
The difference between the thoughts and actions is how I deal
No, this is not my appeal or my search for a new plea deal
This is the core after you pull off all the outside peal
See, I can't show my face to the world cause what I write
I don't put this down to excite or to get you hyped on my life
Shit, I'm one second from turning off the mic and stop recording
The world can only deal with this reality in portions
We are morphing into the visuals we see on TV
And that is the complete opposite of what I be
I was there in the spot light being blinded
I was falling back, then constantly reminded
That if I stop thinking, in my words I'll find it
"It" being the answer to all these pains
Peace of Mind is arriving on the next train

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Now playing: The Dream - Love Vs Money Part 2

Go Signs

Don't you know that I could be
Everything you would ever need
I could see you standing with me
Eyes watching over these seas
No needs, no weed, no seeds
We exist inside each other
Open love in a world of clutter

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Now playing: Vikter Duplaix - The Way That I Feel

False Advertisement

I didn't know how to love you
I didn't show you, I grew too
I wish I could have been better
I wish I could repay all the favors
The essence of perfections
More than just a suggestion
The lesson is, that I lost you
I see everyday the cost too
Here in my cold bed crying
Thinking of you is like dying
Every breath ends with sighing
Lights have dim without u shining
All I have is just this blinding pain
Feeling insane trying to finding sane
Hope you have found the same
I can't help that I haven't dealt with it
Come to grips with it
This never fits in
Guess you are finish
I should have listened
But you are who I'm missing
Withdrawal of your love is sickening

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Now playing: Stevie Wonder - Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer

Snow Bound

So we're locked in this room together
Snow outside, Hell inside feels better
My emotions made me Helter Skelter
Past problems made my heart welter
It's easier to blame someone else for this
Like it wasn't my lips that wanted the kiss
She seen my problems with ways to solve them
What I do? Just get up and run.
Run for the ones who can make me forget
Always high til I come back to the same shit
She wonders what wrong with my energy
Why I treat her like she was the enemy
When in reality, it was always me in infamy
I can blame the pains on the industry
The family problems that seem infinitely
I spent everything to get thru times
But always ended back at the white lines
I don't know if I will change
I don't know if I want to change
I don't know if I can let go of this pain

I do need to go
I do need to grow
Do I need some more!?

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Now playing: Stevie Wonder - I Don't Know Why

Endomorphic

We can stay here acting like we were so engaged
When the last time I saw you, you were enraged
Arguments seemed staged like this was a live show
But when all goes, who still has the pain to stow
Acting as if you weren't so cold when I wanted more
Now that I'm gone you want to work it out with me
What you steal from me, you can take it in infamy
Simply, this is me fleeing from the physical need
I can't stay here acting like it never happened
But I'm still obviously SADDENED

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Now playing: Homeboy Sandman - The Abduction

Foreign

I wrote this poem for those people who have been in this position. A year ago, I decided I was going to do things different and wouldn't return to these emotion. I've have change my external world, but on the inside I still struggle with these feelings. I have no reason to write them but they still sit there. A wise man told me "Life is not a destination, it's a journey," so I keep walking in hopes that in this journey I find sanity.

We stand here at the precipice

I'm one step from another slit wrist
You're one step from another hissy fit
Can't keep repeating the same mistakes
But every time seems like another retake
We started ok, then end in a delay

Always ending with us being afraid
Afraid to change our past habits
The ones that left past discretion tragic
The feelings that make us look past it
As if they had never happened
I can't remain the same, doing it different
Too busy talking to have time to listen
How could I do things different when I'm always right
thinking I'm the beginning and end of the fight
Seeing us in action is scary cause one minute we're friends
Then enemies, then back bends, then lost energy spent
Is it cause I'm scared to sleep alone than atone
Leader of none and king of no throne
I always reaped what I sowed
A hot head that loves to be near the stove
Standing in the kitchen with a heart so cold
I don't know when things will change
I just know that these pains are stained

I've been here before and vowed I wouldn't return
Then I'm found in the candle light during the slow burn

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Now playing: Slaughterhouse - Cuckoo (Produced By DJ Khalil)

Fixing this Ratty House

She wanted me to say something
When I actually had nothing
Always been anti handcuffing
Never known for lovin and huggin
Then I found out the only one I hurt
Is the one standing here in my dirt
Redefined my own self worth in her
And when she changed, I find a new girl
But did she change? Or was I just a frame
Picturing me in the middle of the game
And didn't realize that I didn't read the eyes
Funny how time flies when it starts with highs
Ride that wave til we reach a certain point
Then I run cause I can't...I can't...I can't
I don't need to act as if I ain't been better
But here in the cold with this thin sweater
Feeling so salty for dealing with this Peppa
Weighting my heart against all these feathers
Seems like my own angel has another angle
Guess can't keep pushing squares in triangles
So I keep thinking that things will change
I guess this is my time for something to say

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Now playing: Timbaland - Say Something ft. Drake

Pour out my last

I use my poetry to escape this cave
Inside here, I am my own best slave
The face of stone with heart of shame
Cover it up with selfless versions of vain
I was trained to be better than this
But I must admit I was better when amidst
The trained eye couldn't have imagined
The real Macho Man Randy Savage
Mama always said "too much, makes you an addict"
And I just had to have it, just a crack at it's fabric
Then I was rearranged, easily blamed for the same
It was completely my fault that you enter my vault
What a web we weave when we end up caught
But these dreams of me are the only things I haunt
And these nightmare turn to night terror at eight
Laughing like you really seen some pain in your lifetime
I'm constantly thinking we were born with a life line
So I step back and look at these times invested
And know that from here on, Life has more lessons

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Now playing: kings of leon - use somebody

Journey Man

We are at the road now.
On that way out the A town
Can't stay in the same place
Can't fall into that same chase
I face the goal with heads up
Can't fall back, gotta catch up
3pm and it's time to ride out
Up north trip, no more 95 south
I'm on my way up
It's time to stay up
Morning wake ups
Dreams make us
So I'm making my difference
God on the inside, see I listen
Guess that my inner wishing
Or should I say intuition

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Now playing: Mos Def & dj honda - Travellin' Man(original version)