Loneliness' Beacon

What do you when it's all a lie?
She made me believe together we die
The more time together, the more I cry
Smile on the outside, empty on the inside
Moved cause I thought it was true love
Stayed cause I knew there was nothing above
Ready to leave cause it's not me that she loves
She loves the image of marriage
To me it seems more like a mirage
No intimacy, No passion, No romance
How do we move forward with this
We now have kids, do I go and leave them?
She knows how I feel about our children
Life without daily kisses from them
Make my life worth not living
So now I'm a rough place
Between reasons to go and the voice that tells me to listen.

Theme Music

Just one of those days....Needed this one

There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black cat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

Fixing this Ratty House

She wanted me to say something
When I actually had nothing
Always been anti handcuffing
Never known for lovin and huggin
Then I found out the only one I hurt
Is the one standing here in my dirt
Redefined my own self worth in her
And when she changed, I find a new girl
But did she change? Or was I just a frame
Picturing me in the middle of the game
And didn't realize that I didn't read the eyes
Funny how time flies when it starts with highs
Ride that wave til we reach a certain point
Then I run cause I can't...I can't...I can't
I don't need to act as if I ain't been better
But here in the cold with this thin sweater
Feeling so salty for dealing with this Peppa
Weighting my heart against all these feathers
Seems like my own angel has another angle
Guess can't keep pushing squares in triangles
So I keep thinking that things will change
I guess this is my time for something to say

----------------
Now playing: Timbaland - Say Something ft. Drake

Saving Grace

I have began searching for my happy place again. I was posting some quotes that motivate me to move my spirit to the pinnacle it needs to be at. When I accepted mediocrity that was all I was receiving. Over the past week, I have had my ups and downs...much of the time more downs than ups. I am not forgetting the power that is located inside my spirit, I just overlook it for the temporary struggles that I'm facing. That king that sits on the inside of me has been waiting to grow and take it's rightful place on the throne of greatness. When I was following the path of failure I was surrounded by failure. When I woke up and realized that I must change my mindset and thought process and how that would change my surroundings and environment I saw things transforming. I laugh now because my new quote of life is "the spiritually wealthy is sometimes the ones who are financially broke." I am manifesting that spiritual wealth into a tangible material that will provide all the things that are necessary for growth and development. The world is changing around us, because it's changing within us.

Time's A Wastin

The Electrifying Erykah Badu

This song saved my spirit...I must share

Yeah

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain't no tellin where you'll land

Run baby, run, run
Where you runnin to?
And who you runnin from?
Some people may not understand
What it means to be a man
Takin' full command
Cause we're

Livin in a world that's oh so strange
Boy don't let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that's oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain't no tellin where you'll land

Sweet love and sunshine
If it's all in the air
Then it's all on your mind
Breathe baby
Come back to the world
Dig up all your pearls
Teach the boys and girls, hey

Livin in a world that's oh so strange
Boy don't let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that's oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh

Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain't no tellin where you'll land

Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile

Oh, oh, oh, oh...

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain't no tellin where you'll land

Ain't no tellin, oh, oh...

When it speaks to your SOUL

Just Listen

Keep Moving

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.

- Bruce Lee

New Year's Resolution

Hong Kong New Year's Eve

While everyone I know is out partying, I'm in the house writing my New Year's Resolution. I wrote out my New Year's Resolutions because I wanted to give myself the opportunity to set goals for the incoming year, and to see what things that are still works in progress. I am writing my resolutions because in the end I am the only one who can hold me to my journey.

• Create a business that I love
• Establish a strong monogamous relationship
• Create $500,000 in passive income
• Read 12 books by 2010 (1/month)
• Develop spirituality
• Be in the best shape of my life.
• Complete 5 public speaking engagements
• Contact family more often
• Write more (blog, book, experiences)
• Create better routines and habits

Noah's Art

Eujenya

Never betrayed the ability to be great.
Knowing that my success and failures are all fate
Lack of trust for anyone with the venomous trait
Learned that when I use to ball on the crates
Stepping up to the plate in Connecticut state
Can't run back to my comfort zone
When I click my shoes I never went home
Instead, my mind state went deep in the ozone
Never had to carry the chrome growing up
Instead I was too busy chasing C cups,
A dutch, and a position that resembled the cobra clutch
Sitting here wonder if Willie Hutch is talking to me
When I thought writing poetry was so damn easy
But I hadn't done it in plenty of years
In fear that the peers would share jeers

Power of Change

>

CAVEH ZAHEDI | I Am a Sex Addict

Meeting new people has never been a problem, the problem starts when you move into a life of excess. You find that you are addicted to the new or in my case nu nu. You see how it hinders the growth of my being. In the past couple of months, I have faced my fears without the worries of “what if”. I am overcoming the challenges that life presents to me, because what I want is greater than the moment. The decisions to pursue growth and change are not easy but I feel 10 times better when I am accomplishing them.

I have made my choice and I am perusing the goals that were once unobtainable. However, I know that I cannot achieve those goals without discipline. In the past, I thought I could gain discipline from an outside source. From a person who was wiser and more focused. Even though that is one way, I found that when you face your fears and acknowledge them it makes you willing to change them. I know now that I can also achieve discipline by having the vision to see my goals and reaching for it without the fear of falling. When we accept that we are not perfect, but we can always be better. It gives me the motivation to work harder; cause that is the happiness on the inside manifests greatness on the outside.

Blink

88 Keys

You must struggle to understand the value of your labor, time, and life. Once you accept the fact that no matter how much you plan, you will never be ready for the crazy tuesday afternoon. Then you can live life with none of the limitations that you shackle to yourself.
You are the one, all you have to do is believe it!

Frienemies

White Jesus The Crusades

Frienemies [noun]: a person who poses as a friend, so they can be your best enemy.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Introducing...

Herfection Sunshine...new poet and writer that desires change...

How do you feel?

How do you feel on those nights alone?
Cry and moan
For light to guide your way

though...

It feels like no one is home

Hunger for life feels like no food in days…in life

Peace and serenity seem so far away
While in this dark hole I roam and play
With death all alone

How do you feel when your voice is smothered and ignored?
Left at the door

Want to be heard

Yearn for understanding
Can't fathom the air I inhale
So you chose to siege with your greed
Of what you claim this land, this moment,

And what I may be

But you fail to see

This is more than you
You have screwed you and please don't consider
That this voice will not be heard

For you have aid a harvest, a path of embracing something

That seems to be expelled from your personal Hell
Thanks for feeding the need to make them hear what you fear
What they need at last
A voice that will feed the masses
And not your backstabbing trifling ass

How do you feel when honesty is optimistic?
So realistic and raw makes a you drop your jaw with "aw"
Thought he may have thought differently
Glad to be what he told me

Thought of me
Nice to be appreciated and know that this is higher than he

Though Thee brought this to both
To feel strokes and what could be heavenly wrote
Never knew

Blushed like the few

thee does the same
Wonder if he knows that also this I proclaim
This is what I meant when I said is there something else to say or name
Saw it hiding, but not denying, just quiet, just had to wait patiently for honesty
To stop lying

How do you feel when you are gutted?

With a man wrench full of blood

Not with love
Or care

Yet he stabs

He dares
Rips your clothes
Thinks you try to moan
When you try to say no, and leave me alone
Eternal scares and tares
That the next will encounter
Unfortunately that's up for discussion of what is hirer than me
Just hope I can deal
Still be gentle and real
Had my virtue taken
By what he thought was good
Went numb to not feel him cum
My tears run
Took a shower

Longer than an hour
Still havoc toiled after it was said and done
Misery called for my life as it seem to spoil

How do you feel when you know your God's toy?
Something different
Necessarily did not sign up for this
Can't understand this man, this human, this woman
That I am
But know that I mean well
Like to smell
The goodness of what is possible…
Like early morning rising
First flowers of new abloom
The recognition of being and self and that this is more than you
More than love…if that is possible

Not more than Thee for He made me
Different as the hue that is undiscovered and then said to be new
Something to talk about

To scream and shout
Not conceded just know that I am needed
Just exactly don't know the reason

So how do you feel when this comes to the light?
At 7am, when morning as began
And the alarm clock won't end

You write, write, and write

Cry Now, Laugh Later

(AP Photo/David Guttenfelder)

Cry once in a while, it frees the soul of all the pain we pick up along the journey of life.

"You my boy blue..."

Time realeased...

This plan to design my dreams is taking a little time. I am embracing the word: Patience. I learn that if I have patience I will receive everything that I envision. As I am waiting, I wonder what this thought we call TIME is. Many of us have experienced more than a lifetime worth of pains and pleasures. I laugh because I am beginning to appreciate and love this time. While I can walk and interact with other people on this planet, I know that I am the product of individuality. This is a pleasure in being you. You live knowing that everyone must accept you for you, because you refuse to be someone else. However, I understand that everyone’s realities are different from mine. I am constantly in confrontations with people who want me to be like them. In every job I have ever had, my personality was the problem with the “superior.” My work ethics or abilities were always exceptional, but my unwillingness to submit was always a problem. The worst thing to do to a free mind is try to cage it. We are holding that person from being who they truly are on the inside. Greatness can come from freethinking, but we must nurture that way of life. (Let me get off my stoop) I just know that I have seen some of the best fall and the crazy people grow into trees that leaves blow in the breeze. As I sit here, eight floors from the Pen House Duplex I think about “Where is this journey going to lead me?” I have transformed lives in education, motivation, life lessons, and my own confessions. However, I still stand here wonder what am I going to do next? What is the billion-dollar idea that will change the world? Once again, I am learning about patience so I know I have to wait, but…