The Staples

For a couple of years, I have been on a selfish rampage to make myself happy. While creating my own happiness I have hurt plenty of spirits along the travels. When you are confronted with your past indiscretions and indecision you find that you are the creator of many of the problems you face. Recently, I have attempted to heal some of the wounds I have created on this planet, and as I work on healing them I find out that I'm still one huge open scab. It only takes a little pressure to peal away and expose the fact I am to...wounded. I am still wounded from the destructive relationships I had when I was younger. I am still wounded from my son's mother who stole a piece of my world in the matter of minutes. I am still wounded from the nonexistent relationship I have with my father. None of these reasons are excuses to why I am the way I am, but they are insight into why my mentality is the way it is, which I know is wrong. I am truly a product of my environment, but I will not allow my environment to define my existence. I am at a crossroad in my life; I am changing all the things that were comfortable to me. When all else failed in the past I could fall back on one of my many vices. Now instead of picking up a bottle or someone's girlfriend, I kick the hell out of a bag; I throw some knees into someone’s chest, or simply read a book from someone who is where I want to be. Either way, I am better off today than I was yesterday and that's where greatness starts...in the pursuit of happyness:-)

P.S. Don't hate me for who I was, love me for who I want to become.

Hurricane Rains

DOP Images

My skin's texture keeps me from feeling the hate.
Looking at the dinner table with an empty plate.
Never forgetting, my fate is to dominate the planet.
Never taking every experience in life for granted.
Been under pressure and never panic.
Can't fall down cause I know you can’t stand it.
Sometimes I wonder if I could take it.
Stand strong while I stand across the room from the hatred.
Never let it make this clean shit look faded.
There is nothing they can say other than "He made it"

Diligence and persistence will define my existence!

I'm talking to you

Back to Work

Recently, I was in a very toxic situation with someone I felt I could trust. I asked God for some light in the dark hole I kept digging. Therefore, one day without my consideration or thoughts, the light showed up. It showed itself in the form of letting the other person loose self-control and showing their true identity, so much, that I could not do anything but accept their character. Even though in my heart I wanted to save them from themselves, that is not my responsibility or place. Therefore, I was given the answer to my problem, even though it was not exactly how I wanted it. Even though I felt, I did everything in my power to be honest and upfront. Just so you understand I will speak about a situation briefly... (You know what)...I am not going to say anything about it. God ended it for a reason and I will not express any negative energy, I am finally at peace. I wish them the best and I will keep reaching for the top...

The Age of Enlightenment

It is when we are left alone to THINK with a clear and unclouded mind that we create some of the most beautiful things. I have recently decided to transform my life. The first habit I changed was my surroundings. Instead of being frustrated or angry with the people I spent time with, I decide to change my energy. Everyday, since the collapse of one of my friendships, I have spent time thinking about the importance of self reliance and self sufficiency. Why keep people who don’t bring out the best in you? Why be scared of the power that you have inside? What could you accomplish when you have nothing or no one? And the answer to these questions is “everything your heart and mind could imagine.” There were individuals who were draining the enjoyment of life out of me and I was too damn scared to rid myself of them. So when I couldn't make the decision for myself, Allah made it for me! In the past, I would have replaced that emptiness with drugs or women. Honestly…way more women than drugs. This time I decide to step back and focus. Focus on my goal versus on other distractions. And I have to honestly say that I feel better than I have ever felt before. At times, I’ve struggled to find that power that pushes me ahead. I woke up this morning...thinking of the new opportunity that is ahead of me. There has been a beautiful silver lining emerging from the shadow. I realize now that I have the strength, persistence, and diligence to change the world. Last week, I was asked to educate, influence, and enlighten adults. This is the first time in a while I will be teach adults how to be better. I’m embracing all of the strength and beauty that is coming from within, because if it doesn’t come from within, then I will be without!

Positive thinking creates positive things!

Good morning

Tomorrow is the beginning of another chapter in my life. I am going to begin a journey in my life that I have not faced at any other part of my life.

The Journey:

Min 30 days/ 30 nights

There will be NO sex, drugs, alcohol.

There will be: Meditation, exercising, focusing, goal setting, READING, and soul searching.

I must write throughout the entire process to see what I am facing and dealing with as a travel to my heightened mind.

Today I guess I could explain in a poem:

I have made mistakes; no where close to perfect.

But why do I sit on this island deserted, again.

I stand my position so that I could place my favorite stake

Watching out for the yin to my yang; no give and take.

I must understand that this is best

Don’t stress; that’s useless in this existence,

I should have read it in the pretence of my cerebral cortex

In 1994 I introduced to my favorite drug

Outweighed the thug love and the dodging the black slugs

I was happy to feel these presences in essence

Thought I was the wealthiest amongst the peasants

(Hold on, do you understand that line, this was my thinking most of the time)

I walked the fine line between two dimes at a time.

Thinking nunu had me so subdued,

I ended up on an island on life’s cruse

I would be patient to hold it, console it,

Even foolish enough to think I controlled it

(Hey it’s me again) but I don’t listen to my conscience

Ego told me he was on some nonsense (he’s too damn honest)

I thought I was better man because I had better women

Swimming in the ocean of them, lost and drowning

Not knowing that I was going down when she tasted her on him

30 days to make memories, history… not forgotten

Just take some time to know that I could stop it. (Honest)

The Time to start is now!!! ENLIGHTENMENT*