Follow Me

I admit that there is a part of me that fears that I can't be monogamist. I'm always in the search for the feeling of the perfect kiss. The lady that would be perfect to have around my babies. Maybe I should cool out before I sang "Sadie" and she gone. These nights get long when you living in the wrong. The liquor too strong from my tongue and the strong arm of the law is looking for the boy. I can't continue on this track, but it's feels that I lack consistency. Anonymously on the blog so how much of me do you know when you see that it's completely me. I fear telling everyone that I wrote these words because the may be perturb or think it's up surd that I have felt afflicted since birth. Things can see like they change, but honestly just rearrange to the same. I can't claim that I changed when honestly I just masked more of me. Others seek the fame when I just want to share my reality, not for a salary, actually I want to just be happy. These nights seem to lack lasting, so I'm just tracking the past. Every moment show a lack of class, but now I wash away the ash and put it all on blast. Can't stay the same for ever. The more clever, longer and stronger endeavors, all the better. If I seem like I'm a little different, it's probably cause I struggle with listening. This world can be sicking, but I can't let it restrict me form glistening. The most high looks down with a frown on the whole town, city, it seems like grandma lost all her pity when her grandson feel in love with titties. HIV and TV got the world sickly. In the draft of life, no one want to pick these realities. So I just survive as a causality of the reality we call...my City

Winner's Winter

Since the last post what has trans past.
Couldn't mask that my young ass grew up
Dreams of my false reality just blew up
Now my lady has been found out
My son now knows what I'm about
The open hands and close mouth
Left me wondering about
When I said I was gonna change
Was I just saying all the same
More like I was ashamed
Too busy validating my actions
More like the lack there of
I can't act if I didn't do it
The misfits and laundry list of regrets
Makes me miss when I thought this was it
Full stomach, empty heart, I'm so sick
I can't call to apologize for the lies
However, I could have applied the whys
There are hints that this was gonna happen
I was starring in the show that I was acting
No supporters, No viewers, Talent lacking
Value can't come from just being attractive
But without action or passion, I'm just...

Burial

The tears stopped flowing down my face
I knew I was finally in the right place
I was no longer my own basket case
Pulled over to pull out this rat race
In these modern times, know you affect lives
To reach the top you must continue to climb
I was a image of my reality regardless if it hurt
Appreciated my purpose and self worth
Tired of being both the gift and curse
Found me a woman that I am faithful to
Found a reason to stop being so wasteful
I'm in shape to achieve something greater
In time I will find what, sooner than later
Everything that great; is built over time
When its my time, I hope that I'm just fine

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Now playing: Miike Snow - Silvia

Jewels in the Soup

Grew older and found more jewels in the thoughts of Jay Z.

Inspired by Basquiat. My chariots on fire.
Everybody took shots, hit my body up, I’m tired.
Build me up. break me down. to build me up again.
They like: “Hov we need you back so we can kill ya ass again”
Hov got flow, though he’s no Big and Pac, but he’s close.
How I’m supposed to win? They got me fighting ghosts…

~

Same sword the knight you, they gon’ “good night” you with.
(Shit) Thats only half if they like you.
That aint even the half what they might do.
Dont believe me ask Michael.
See Martin, see Malcolm.
You see Biggie, see Pac? see: success and its outcome.
See Jesus, see Judas. See Caesar, see Brutus.
See success is like suicide.
“Suicide it’s a suicide”
If you succeed, prepare to be crucified.
Media meddles, niggas sue you, you settle.
“Every step you take”, they remind you, you ghetto.
So its tough being Bobby Brown.
To be Bobby then, you gotta be Bobby now.
Now the question is: “Is to have had and lost
Better than not having at [all]?”

~

Everybody wanna be the King, then shots ring
You layin on your balcony with holes in your dream.
Or you Malcolm X’d out, get distracted by screams:
Everybody get your hand off my jeans.
Everybody look at you strange say you changed,
Like you work that hard to stay the same.
Game stays the same, the names change.
So its best for those to not overdose on being famous.
Most kings get driven so insane,
that they try to hit the same vein that Kurt Cobain did
??No dangers, so shameless??
Invited to the inter-sanctum of yo chambers
??Low chained em as the enemies approach??
So raise ya draw bridge and drown em in the moat
And the Spirit I’m evokin
**Mumbles**

~

Everybody screamin they want the old Hov,
But the new improved Hov hit like Albert Pujols.
Everybody wanna hear me talk that money like Phil Rizzuto,
But my mind is on Pluto.
Bills that I do fold, i now invest.
Tryna find some loopholes in the IRS.
As where I used to have a few hoes, I am just
concentratin on makin a new Hov through sex.
I’ve awaken just in time to school those putos
Tryna follow in my shoes with jewels froze.
Better adhere to this text ‘fore you go
broke, spendin more than you’ve accrued on silly baguettes.
I know silly but yet, silly, you learn on your own.
At least my conscience is clear, I’m no longer steering you wrong.
Aint nothing wrong with baguettes after you get a home.
Take care of your home, you can go back and…

The Corporate Take[over]….”

-S.Carter

New Days

I promised her that I would do everything in my control to be the man she deserves. So when I get those urges to do otherwise, I remember that she is everything I asked for. She can never be replaced, so I must do everything to make her know that she is my taste of heaven on this earth.

I have never claimed to be perfect, but I can at least put forth the effort to get close to it.

New Year's Word

I Must Be Dead

Thought and character are one, and as character can only manifest and discover itself through environment and circumstance, the outer conditions of a person's life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state...Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.

James Allen "As A Man Thinketh"

Life's Little Lesson

This is the view I see everyday when I look out at the world. I see the rest of the world on the other side of my deep sea. Alone with a thought that one day I can change all of the things around me, but I must first change myself. Damn, why is it easier to change the world and not yourself? I am struggling with the feelings that I am alone on an island even though everyone is around me. "Maybe someone will save me...guess that's my Wonderwall."