Jewels in the Soup

Grew older and found more jewels in the thoughts of Jay Z.

Inspired by Basquiat. My chariots on fire.
Everybody took shots, hit my body up, I’m tired.
Build me up. break me down. to build me up again.
They like: “Hov we need you back so we can kill ya ass again”
Hov got flow, though he’s no Big and Pac, but he’s close.
How I’m supposed to win? They got me fighting ghosts…

~

Same sword the knight you, they gon’ “good night” you with.
(Shit) Thats only half if they like you.
That aint even the half what they might do.
Dont believe me ask Michael.
See Martin, see Malcolm.
You see Biggie, see Pac? see: success and its outcome.
See Jesus, see Judas. See Caesar, see Brutus.
See success is like suicide.
“Suicide it’s a suicide”
If you succeed, prepare to be crucified.
Media meddles, niggas sue you, you settle.
“Every step you take”, they remind you, you ghetto.
So its tough being Bobby Brown.
To be Bobby then, you gotta be Bobby now.
Now the question is: “Is to have had and lost
Better than not having at [all]?”

~

Everybody wanna be the King, then shots ring
You layin on your balcony with holes in your dream.
Or you Malcolm X’d out, get distracted by screams:
Everybody get your hand off my jeans.
Everybody look at you strange say you changed,
Like you work that hard to stay the same.
Game stays the same, the names change.
So its best for those to not overdose on being famous.
Most kings get driven so insane,
that they try to hit the same vein that Kurt Cobain did
??No dangers, so shameless??
Invited to the inter-sanctum of yo chambers
??Low chained em as the enemies approach??
So raise ya draw bridge and drown em in the moat
And the Spirit I’m evokin
**Mumbles**

~

Everybody screamin they want the old Hov,
But the new improved Hov hit like Albert Pujols.
Everybody wanna hear me talk that money like Phil Rizzuto,
But my mind is on Pluto.
Bills that I do fold, i now invest.
Tryna find some loopholes in the IRS.
As where I used to have a few hoes, I am just
concentratin on makin a new Hov through sex.
I’ve awaken just in time to school those putos
Tryna follow in my shoes with jewels froze.
Better adhere to this text ‘fore you go
broke, spendin more than you’ve accrued on silly baguettes.
I know silly but yet, silly, you learn on your own.
At least my conscience is clear, I’m no longer steering you wrong.
Aint nothing wrong with baguettes after you get a home.
Take care of your home, you can go back and…

The Corporate Take[over]….”

-S.Carter

Can I Live

HOV

This is my anthem...so I must share.

Yeah, hah, yeah Roc-A-Fella
We invite you to, somethin epic y'all know?
Well we hustle out of a sense of, hopelessness
Sort of a desperation
Through that desperation, we 'come addicted Sorta like the fiends we accustomed to servin
But we feel we have nothin to lose
so we offer you, well, we offer our lives, right
What do you bring to the table?

While I'm watchin every nigga watchin me closely
my shit is butter for the bread they wanna toast me
I keep my head, both of them where they supposed to be
Hoes'll get you sidetracked then clap from closed feet
I don't sleep
I'm tired, I feel wired like codeine, these days
a brother gotta admire from four fiends away
My pain wish it was quick to see, from sellin 'caine
til brains was fried to a fricassee, can't lie
At the time it never bothered me, at the bar
gettin my thug on properly,
my squad and me lack of respect for authority,
laughin hard Happy to be escapin poverty,
however brief
I know this game got valleys and peaks, expectation
for dips, four percent precipitation we stack chips, hardly
The youth I used to be, soon to see a mill'in
No more, Big Willie my game has grown prefer you call me William
Illin for revenues, Rayful Edmond like
Channel 7 news, round seven jewels, hand dead in the mic
Forgettin all I ever knew, convenient amnesia
I suggest you call my lawyer, I know the procedure
Lock my body can't trap my mind, easily
explain why we adapt to crime
I'd rather die enormous than live dormant that's how we on it
Live at the main event, I bet a trip to Maui on it
Presidential suites my residential for the weekend
Confidentially speakin in codes since I sense you peekin
The INXS rental, don't be fooled my game is mental
We both out of town dog, what you tryin to get into?
Viva, Las Vegas, see ya, later at the crap tables
meet me by the one that starts a G up
This way no fraud Willie's present gambling they re-up
And we can have a pleasant time, sippin margaritas
Ge-ge-geyeahhh, can I live?
Can I live?

My mind is infested, with sick thoughts that circle
like a Lexus, if driven wrong it's sure to hurt you
Dual level like duplexes, in unity, my crew and me
commit atrocities like we got immunity
You guessed it, manifest it in tangible goods
Platinum Rolexed it, we don't lease
we buy the whole care, as you should
My confederation, dead a nation, EXPLODE
on detonation, overload the mind of a said patient
When it balls to steam, it comes to it
we all fiends gotta do it, even righteous minds go through this
True this, history school us to spend our money foolish
Bond with jewelers and, watch for intruders
I stepped it up another level,
meditated like a Buddhist
Recruited lieutenants with ludicrous, dreams of gettin cream let's do this,
against T-D-S
So I keep one eye open like C-B-S
ya see me
stressed right? Can I live?
Can I live?
Can I live?
Can I live?

New Morning

Today is the first day of my journey. Will I face my failures and make them my strengths or will I surcome to my weaknesses? Today, I worked hard on my studies, fitness, and understanding. I even chilled with (add a name) today. No mistakes or forced running, but time will come for challenges. I have to admit that I have increasingly begun to think about the past things I have done and how I could better those situations. I will attempt to write to those that I have touched and can’t remember. She remembers experiencing me, and I can’t even remember her name. What does that reflect in the person I am….excuse me…was.

Anonymous Woman

I have played in your garden, and smelled your flowers

Ate one or two to sense parts of your feminine powers

Tasting, touching and feeling your soul as I devour

Running back to my castle of trust as a coward

Sharing little of myself in the experience

But using you to enhance the trance during this dance

Can you remember those moments?

Can you enter this omen and understand that no man

Should touch your hand without being a part of your plan

And I stand here, after I have had some of the best ones

Added them together and came up with a sum of none

Because at the end, they were all gone.