Your Star*

Telena Jackson

I am writing this blog because it is my opportunity to share my life and thoughts with the world without the filter of everyone else. I say that sarcastically because I have let some of the closest people I know into the fact that I am writing this blog. Many of them do not say a word about what they read but some of them ask questions about why did I write that post or choose that song. I try my hardest to keep the blog on the blog, but I have found recently that I have gotten away from talking more so about where I am, and more about where I want to be. Although I think both are very important I feel the need to share my present reality with the world. A couple of post ago I wrote my new year’s resolutions and one of them is to have a monogamous relationship.

Now I am not in a relationship but I am talking and getting to know my ex-girlfriend, who I was not honest with in the past, again to see how we feel together. That situation is growing and developing every day, but there have seem to be some people that I have left who I feel are just as loyal and loving. Now I know that my girlfriend is trusting, loving and loyal. However, the challenge of being with one woman is hard. It is even harder because she lives over 500 miles away from me, and I am not trying to deal with multiple women. Over the last couple of years, I had dealt with as many women as Wilt in his high school years, but I have always felt a level of emptiness when I was dealing with multiple people. I cannot say that every night lying alone in my bed looking at my sealing feels great, but spending time alone and facing one of my greatest fears (loneliness) is making me into something else. I am struggling to get to that good place, but does greatness ever come easy…More to come.

Watchin Again

Orange Acid

Couldn't forget my first inspiration to be better...so I pay homage with a poem about my MUSE.

I once wanted to tell that life is terrific,

But that only holds true if in every moment I spent, you were in it.

Using my talent to combat the problems of my existence as a Godly diplomat

Maybe I should just show you in these words, better yet, in poem format,

Written on trees with Cutco knives, what do you know about that?

I can’t imagine the day that life will leave me,

But I could see, how in this world you are the best thing for me.

I rather have conversations with you, than watch everyone else’s fantasy on TV.

I’ve spent the last three days addicted to you; I have no space for ecstasy or trees.

Just good thought, and waiting seconds to feel you next to me.

And in my days of absence I would only ask if, one man could be next to you.

But somehow I couldn’t say it, even though I know he sits with you.

He’s the best example I have to follow from

They just rather war over him.

I’m spending lifetimes attempting to learn from him.

And all this so that you and I can one day experience him.

Together

God, you and I could create a pool of love that would ripple forever.

And now I write to you to tell you about our pastime coming up spent

Spent thinking of the moment in which I got to meet you, again

Seven rings, forty thousand descendants of our children have made time worthy of each and every second invested.

In our past lifetime we spent only seventy years together

And that left people to write about us in the Bible

They made us virgin again and all this while they praise you as an idol

Thinking of our first child being the savior of these people, kind of keeps the Black man smiling.

A wise man once told me, “Life is what you make it”

“And if she’s your queen why doesn’t she know it?”

That lesson I will never forget and I admit that at time I don’t act it,

But you are the divine deity that keeps me moving beyond the obstacle I see.

You are the sanctified reincarnation of spirits of Queen Sheba, Harriet Tubman and Coretta Scott King

You speak to me in emotions the human mind couldn’t imagine.

You are my everything, for without you, I am nothing.