New Days

I promised her that I would do everything in my control to be the man she deserves. So when I get those urges to do otherwise, I remember that she is everything I asked for. She can never be replaced, so I must do everything to make her know that she is my taste of heaven on this earth.

I have never claimed to be perfect, but I can at least put forth the effort to get close to it.

Shadow of Doubt

When I'm sitting here in front of the screen
I think about all of my dreams and skeems
Addictive qualities to share like a fiend
Maybe in the midst I could be redeemed

But then the tears start....
Before I get to wipe, I fall apart
Pour my pain all over my shirt
Capsized eyes filled with hurt
What could make me collapse
Perhaps it's all the crap
That constantly distracts
Me from being better

But what does that mean?
Does it mean that I'm not me
Cause I cause all of my frustration
The lack of patience
The fear of being complacent
The traces of pure hatred
Playing my own Jason
Pacing the room trying to gain composure
Inside I try to find some type of closure
But the walls are getting closer
I'm only getting older, bolder, and colder

The thoughts of self worth
Charisma is the gift and curse
Now my purpose is to destroy?
When I always thought I am joy
Then she tells me it's time to move
Right when I'm tightly wound in this groove
Thinking that I would never lose
That's why I'm so damn confused
Can't keep thinking that drinking will solve problems
When the bottle was always the initial cause of them

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Now playing: Eric Roberson - She

Prince and the Pauper

My false reality reads "With the guts is the glory"
Brought into my own lie written in this story
Crashing train speeding is ready to arrive shortly
Gotta beat this life long struggle quickly (eh eh)
Pins and needles continuously sticking me
The hickeys are marks left on the sickly like me
Inside her pants I found my identity
Holding me infinitely until I break free
Sadly I don't know if I even want to leave
Tonight I do me, tomorrow I put my pain on the sleeve
Hearts around me have to withstand the breeze
Cause it easier for me to freeze than let her see
Standing in front of the mirror even hurts me
Not because I'm ugly, but because I stare grudgingly
Should have left years ago, but lack of self control
Makes me know that I need to go back to the basics
But even at the basis I was full of bullshit
Stood in front of the pulpit and that'll do it
Hands on approach to coming to grip
Then found out my reverend does this shit
Make me feel sick cause I don't want it
Rather than change, I batter myself in flatter
And the liquor keeps the walls of lies plastered

The comforting kiss of the illusionist makes bliss on my lips
The eyes are the rubber band ties to my perfect drug
The thighs are the high that keeps me so in love

I gotta go...gotta find me...gotta rise above...gotta stand up

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Now playing: Eric Roberson - Still