Motivate Myself

I needed this...

When I was sleepin on the train,

sleepin on Meserole Ave out in the rain
without even a single slice of pizza to my name
too proud to beg for change mastering the pain
when new york niggas were calling southern rappers lame,
but then jacking our slang
I used to get dizzy spells
and hear a little ring
the voice of a Angel
telling me my name
telling me that one day imma be a great man
transforming with the Megatron Don spittin out flames,
Eatin wack rappers alive shittin out chains.
I ain't believe it then.
Nigga I was homeless
Fightin, shootin dice, smokin weed on the corners
tryna find the meaning of life in a corona
till the 5 percenters rolled up on a nigga and informed him:
"you either build or destroy. Where you come from?"
"The Magnolia projects in the 3rd ward slum"
"Hmmm... its quite amazing that you rhyme how you do
and how you shine like you grew up in a shrine in Peru."

Question14 - Muslim Lesson 2: Dip Diver, Civilize a 85er.
I make the devil hit his knees and say the Our Father.

Abracadabra!
You rockin with the True and Living
shot out to Lights Out, Joseph I, Chewy Bivens,
shout out to Baltimore, Baton Rouge, my crew in Richmond.
While y'all debated who the truth was like Jews and Christians
I was on Cecil B, Broad Street, Master, North Philly, South Philly, 23rd, Tasker.
6 mile, 7 mile, Hartwell, Gratiot: Where niggas really would pack a uhaul truck up,
put the high beams on, drive up on the curb at a barbecue and hop out the back like "what's up!",
kill a nigga, rob a nigga, take a nigga, bust up.
That's why when you talk the tough talk I never feel ya.
You sound real good and you play the part well,
but the energy you givin off is so unfamiliar.
I don't feel ya...

My Angel Calls

I see, diamond flooded demons, Lamborghini angels
Halos down with the doors flapping when they came through
Windows up, system bumping, you the one they sang to
Same two, who said they the ones you should send your thanks through
Pockets full of blessings, they can sanctify and saint you
You can hear ‘em revving up in heaven now, can’t you?
Sandals made of chrome, his soul made of leather
An engine full of sinning and, candy painted feathers
The sound of the motor only reverend you confess to
I see this all in the eyes of the girl I’m next to
I asked her “Where we going?” and she just told me “Pleasure”
Hands on the wheel, and her heels on the accelor-
-Rator, told her wait up, she kept going like et cetera
But like a broken record, we’ve come too far to just wheel it back, selector
So we gon’ ride forever, forever, forever, forever, forever

The Staples

For a couple of years, I have been on a selfish rampage to make myself happy. While creating my own happiness I have hurt plenty of spirits along the travels. When you are confronted with your past indiscretions and indecision you find that you are the creator of many of the problems you face. Recently, I have attempted to heal some of the wounds I have created on this planet, and as I work on healing them I find out that I'm still one huge open scab. It only takes a little pressure to peal away and expose the fact I am to...wounded. I am still wounded from the destructive relationships I had when I was younger. I am still wounded from my son's mother who stole a piece of my world in the matter of minutes. I am still wounded from the nonexistent relationship I have with my father. None of these reasons are excuses to why I am the way I am, but they are insight into why my mentality is the way it is, which I know is wrong. I am truly a product of my environment, but I will not allow my environment to define my existence. I am at a crossroad in my life; I am changing all the things that were comfortable to me. When all else failed in the past I could fall back on one of my many vices. Now instead of picking up a bottle or someone's girlfriend, I kick the hell out of a bag; I throw some knees into someone’s chest, or simply read a book from someone who is where I want to be. Either way, I am better off today than I was yesterday and that's where greatness starts...in the pursuit of happyness:-)

P.S. Don't hate me for who I was, love me for who I want to become.