Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Staples

For a couple of years, I have been on a selfish rampage to make myself happy. While creating my own happiness I have hurt plenty of spirits along the travels. When you are confronted with your past indiscretions and indecision you find that you are the creator of many of the problems you face. Recently, I have attempted to heal some of the wounds I have created on this planet, and as I work on healing them I find out that I'm still one huge open scab. It only takes a little pressure to peal away and expose the fact I am to...wounded. I am still wounded from the destructive relationships I had when I was younger. I am still wounded from my son's mother who stole a piece of my world in the matter of minutes. I am still wounded from the nonexistent relationship I have with my father. None of these reasons are excuses to why I am the way I am, but they are insight into why my mentality is the way it is, which I know is wrong. I am truly a product of my environment, but I will not allow my environment to define my existence. I am at a crossroad in my life; I am changing all the things that were comfortable to me. When all else failed in the past I could fall back on one of my many vices. Now instead of picking up a bottle or someone's girlfriend, I kick the hell out of a bag; I throw some knees into someone’s chest, or simply read a book from someone who is where I want to be. Either way, I am better off today than I was yesterday and that's where greatness starts...in the pursuit of happyness:-)

P.S. Don't hate me for who I was, love me for who I want to become.

Overcome - Tricky

No comments: