Changes

Today is a day. Good ole' Father's Day. I use to treat this day like any day...now it's the longest day ever. I remember when I really didn't care about Father's Day. Every day was Father's Day for me. So I sit here staring at the screen wondering what I would say if my boy was right here. The days missed, moments lost, experiences delayed....and we just keep moving forward. The Most High knows my intentions, passions and thoughts. I am creating a better world and this is one of my sacrifices to prove how much I want it. I still remember the years like they were yesterday...and they were...3 years ago. So I smile and write this letter.

In the past 2* years of my life, I have come to realize that in my life there is a time and place for everything. Your time to shine is at the moment your faith, passion, and vision become one. Don't stop learning...it's the best privilege of being a human. You can always learn something new.Trust that your faith is going to get tested, but you can change all of that at any second. Believe in yourself and your dreams (visions) and you will seek the answers to your questions. You are divine and that makes you a beautiful person. Love yourself, for no one will love you if you don't love yourself. We are not the result of our parents decisions, we can create the destiny we want at any moment. I know that this may sound crazy, but if no one else loves you...God loves you. And you can't lose when you have the Most High on your side. Know that I loves you.


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Now playing: Kelly Howell - 01.Create Success [Anytime]

One of those days

My Justice

I don't usually complain about too much, but today is my son's 6th birthday and I haven't seen him since November 23, 2005. Today freakin sucks!!! I'm just trying to make it through the day without crying.
(See you soon baby boy)

Breaking the cycle

Justice Thomson

For a couple of years, I have become a cold-hearted person. Much of it is because I hide the pain of my experiences in the past and I choose not to make myself vulnerable in a world that seems to takes its enjoyment out of ruining the rest of the planet. I tried in the past to be a positive person, but how could you fix a problem that you choose to hide from the rest of the world. Therefore, I guess I will show my problem to the whole world in hopes that it could fix my situations. On November 24, 2003, his mother took my son from his daycare. She not only had taken him without my consent, but she decided to take him to another country. In some case dudes, neglect the fact of raising their children. However, I had not only raised my son...and when I say raised I mean that I had taken him to and from school every day. I spent every minute and dollar to provide a better lifestyle for him. At a point where I was dealing with several women, I developed a stable environment so that he could flourish in a beautiful human. Even though that is not what I wanted at the time. I decided, with no regrets, to put my life on hold so that I could create the best life for him and that was all snatched from me. When this occurred, I spent over 6 months using the "legal" system to “help” me. They did nothing but ridicule me for being a father that wanted to raise his child. The judges that I encountered neglected to see the urgency of my problem and even went as far as to allow her to leave the country even after they were notified that she had taken him unjustly. A deceitful and destructive woman snatched power and I felt I was given the only option I knew to escape the problem...sex, sex, sex. The same thing that led to the problem was the only escape that I could think of in this situation. I fucked until I could not...but what ended up happening is I harden up to relationships and feelings. I have met many of the greatest women a man could meet and couldn't feel anything because I was so hardened. There were even several occasions where women have cried their hearts out, and I stared at them as if they were nothing to me. Too cold to even acknowledge their tears. Not because I truly viewed them in a negative light, but the fact is that, I felt I could not be emotional, because I know the after effects of having emotions. I have even lost relationships to my cold heart. I want to change those qualities about myself, but it is hard when you have been hurt and enraged for sooooooooo long. I have prayed that I will find the peace that will heal my soul, because I cannot continue like this…

Linkin Park- My December

Sweet Justice

Brad Wilson Photography

3 years ago this was the best feeling in the world. Today, I hide the feelings of this picture for fear that it will show my vulnerability. We search for something to live for and when it's taken what do you do? FIGHT!?!?!?!?!