Shadow of Doubt

When I'm sitting here in front of the screen
I think about all of my dreams and skeems
Addictive qualities to share like a fiend
Maybe in the midst I could be redeemed

But then the tears start....
Before I get to wipe, I fall apart
Pour my pain all over my shirt
Capsized eyes filled with hurt
What could make me collapse
Perhaps it's all the crap
That constantly distracts
Me from being better

But what does that mean?
Does it mean that I'm not me
Cause I cause all of my frustration
The lack of patience
The fear of being complacent
The traces of pure hatred
Playing my own Jason
Pacing the room trying to gain composure
Inside I try to find some type of closure
But the walls are getting closer
I'm only getting older, bolder, and colder

The thoughts of self worth
Charisma is the gift and curse
Now my purpose is to destroy?
When I always thought I am joy
Then she tells me it's time to move
Right when I'm tightly wound in this groove
Thinking that I would never lose
That's why I'm so damn confused
Can't keep thinking that drinking will solve problems
When the bottle was always the initial cause of them

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Now playing: Eric Roberson - She